I have never been good at waiting. My dad used to teasingly quote a passage of Scripture to me when I was a kid to remind me that things take time. It was the passage where Mary was finding out from the angel that she was going to be the mother of the Messiah, “Patience dear Mary, the prophet hath foretold…” In other words, this has been a long time coming and you are not the first one to have so many questions. You are not the first one to wonder what this will look like or feel like or how this will work out. Patience –God is not behind schedule.
I am quick to tell Mary to chill out but to demand with urgency my own answers. And yet, the older I get, the more I understand that God does not work on my timetable. He is not anxious as the moments click by or the silence hangs ominously overhead.
God is El-Roi, the one who sees me. He has my days numbered, the hairs on my head counted, a bottle for my tears, and He loves me. His grace covers me when my own poor choices lead to frustration and confusion. And His wisdom guides me into places that seem lonely and barren because He has something for me there.
I hate that “running on a treadmill” feeling. I keep looking down at those little numbers and they don’t seem to be moving fast enough. I look up and the scenery never changes. I seem to be stuck in the middle of nowhere and it feels as if I am going nowhere.
At these moments it all comes down to what I believe about God.
- Do I believe He cares enough about me to lead me where I need to go and now where I want to go?
- Do I believe that He is mighty to save and deliver me from my own faults and failures?
- Do I believe He is bigger than the enemies that come against me?
- Do I believe He is in control and that is a good thing?
These are faith questions. Because as followers of Christ we are told that we don’t walk by sight but by faith (Hebrews 11). Sight is limited by perspective, clarity, and ability. But faith goes beyond all those limitations and gives us the vision of Jesus. He always sees more for us that we can see for ourselves. He knows the best route to get us to His best for us. He is doing the work of completing us and bringing us into a beautiful representation of Him in us.
So how do I have patience when I am waiting? How do I find the courage I need to rest in Him when my heart is anxious for answers? How do I find peace in the midst of the barrenness?
God does not leave us unanswered. He leads by word and action. He says, “I will lead and you follow.” It starts with a step of obedience — remember faith begins with stepping out on what you cannot see.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
So I do what I know to do today, I walk in his leading today. I trust him for these 24 hours not worrying about what will happen tomorrow. And he promises if I walk in obedience I will end up at the right place, at the right time, with the right person, in the right frame of mind, etc and I can have rest along the way.
I am not the guide of my life — He is! I am a follower and as much as that stretches my patience, it also ensures my life is on the right track.
Who is leading your life?
Do you trust the Guide of your life?
Are you resting or wrestling with the pace of God’s leading?